Archive for July 2010

Community Center part deux

July 30, 2010

So as I have previously mentioned I go to my local community center gym. And its worthy of a sitcom. Here is just one more little anecdote to prove it.  This scene would probably make a great trailer for the sitcom.

I usually go in the early mornings or evenings, so I have seen pretty much everyone who ever goes at those times at least once before. However, one Friday I got off work early, so I went in the mid-afternoon. There was only Larry and this one lady on a treadmill, so I thought I was safe on my elliptical.

However, in walked a talkative old couple. They were not married, but they may have been friends or friends with benefits, I’m not exactly sure how old people roll, but they were definitely in their late 60s if not a little older. They knew both Larry and the lady on the treadmill, so they started chatting it up with them about how long it had been since they’d last made an appearance at the gym and how everyone was doing.

The old guy was proud to announce that he had just had his cataracts removed and could finally see that the lady on the treadmill had hair, which he was also pleased to announce. His old lady-friend got on a treadmill, still chatting away about her grandchildren or something and the old guy meandered my way.

I crossed my fingers and prayed that he would just leave me alone, but I just knew he was going to end up talking to me, since he had been looking my way since he waltzed in the door. He slowly made his way over to the elliptical and looked at me for a good minute.

“Working on your hips?” he asked, while glancing at my entire being.

“Haha yeah,” I tried to laugh him off.

“I think big hips are nice, don’t you?” he asked me.

“If I did I wouldn’t be here,” I told him.

“Well, they’re nice on somebody else, don’t you think?”

I didn’t respond to that one.

“You keep running like that, but not going anywhere,” he remarked.

“Don’t remind me,” I told him.

Then he sat down and began talking to Larry, every few minutes looking back at me and commenting how I was just going to fly out of the gym on the elliptical.

“Enjoy it while you’re young,” he told me after I had finished  my work out and was on my way out the door. “Cause it doesn’t last.”

And I thought what a lie that was because since old guys are the only ones who hit on me now, maybe when I’m old the young guys will finally see what they’ve been missing.

Clear Lake Area Chamber

July 29, 2010

So this summer has been crazy beyond belief. I have been going at warp speed and have has so many obligations to everywhere that I have very little time left for me.

One of the primary obligations has been my internship at the Clear Lake Area Chamber of Commerce. I have an absolutely fabulous “mentor” and I have been having a great time acting like a debutante at Business After Hours and Ribbon Cuttings and going to plenty of official meetings. It’s really been a great experience and I have learned a great deal about what I want to be versus what I don’t want to be and so on.

In fact, the Chamber is so terrif that they even let me create a blog for them, which you should check out. This is a great project because I really don’t consider blogging “work” and I have learned a lot more about WordPress (it’s about time, huh?)

My internship will technically be over on Aug. 6, but I am going to hang around as I am helping plan their annual Chairman’s Ball, which is in September.

However, once I reach Aug. 6, I won’t be spending nearly as much time there and am planning a little break in my two weeks of freedom before school starts for the fall. So I should be back very soon  (because I have a lot to tell you).

Until then, read the Chamber blog and take my damn survey because I still need like 20 more responses please!!

How much do you love me?

July 17, 2010

I am in a hardcore research class this summer and for our second big project we are writing a formal analysis and including charts, graphs, pies, tables, etc. I need to poll at least 50 people.

So if you would be so kind, please take my survey. My topic is the effect of reality TV on society, so it’s a survey about reality TV, which I know many of us are guilty of watching. Also if you happen to know any reality TV “experts,” please let me know because I need to interview some of those and I don’t know anyone offhand.

This is a pretty interesting project, but the class is mega-labor intensive. Thank goodness it’s almost over.

 You’re the best!

It just seemed like the thing to do

July 12, 2010

Sometimes I get really brilliant ideas. Just really A+, 10 point, hole-in-one, awesome-gotta-try-this, smashing, larger than life, before-my-time, don’t-even-try-to-talk-me-out-of-this-one, brilliant ideas.

And with these really brilliant ideas I get tunnel vision, so pretty soon I can only see my brill idea and nothing else. Not even any of the flaws the brilliant  idea may have.

Its like I become stuck on a moving sidewalk (one of those people conveyor belts) and I don’t see anything but where I’m going and I don’t even think about what’s going to happen when I get to the end of the moving walk, because that is just completely irrelevant.

Pretty soon after focusing so much on getting to that end result, I even forget why I even wanted to go through with the idea in the first place. All I can remember is that is seemed like the thing to do.

So during the aforementioned life altering Charley-Horse event (see the community center post) I got several of these  earth shattering ideas for what I should do after I graduate in Dec. However, to resist disappointment and a repeat of the whole college incident  and because it seems like the thing to do, I am setting the record straight. Here we go:

I am graduating in December. I will be living normal life in Houston for the fall. I can guarantee you (relative) normalcy for the fall. I am exploring several different options for after I graduate in December and I’m not sure exactly when  I’ll know exactly what my final plan will be, since I have several different ideas for after I graduate in December.

Basically I don’t have an f-ing clue what I’m going to do after I graduate, so please refrain from asking me because if you do you will get a response similar to the one above because I have several amazing, wonderful, super, fantastic ideas and I don’t really know which (if any) are going to work out.

Someone made the comment today that it must be scary to not know whats going to happen after December and I kind of laughed it off. But honestly, I’m losing enough sleep over it to account for everyone’s worry, so we’re covered in that aspect.

Community Center

July 12, 2010

I have started going to a gym. 

Everybody pause to gasp here for a second. 

After my whole running phase ended with Christmas on crutches, I decided to take a safer route this time and stay where its air-conditioned and a little less dangerous. My family has had passes to our local recreational center workout room all year, but nobody ever used them. However, now that they are going to expire very soon I thought it would be best to at least get a fraction of our money’s worth. 

I go everyday (except Tue/Thur cause I have school like right after work) and I have found it to be pretty entertaining. I wanted to go because I don’t like treadmills (and we have one at our house anyway), but I love the elliptical machine (the one where your feet swing back and forth).  You get 30 min on it (since it’s a community center people like to make you be nice and share) and I’ve been doing about 3.5 miles on it in that time. 

 The first night I went, I made my brother go with me because he had a personal trainer once, literally once, so he knew a little about the machines. I originally tried the mountain climber elliptical, and let’s just say my brother has a video on his phone that could probably win us ten grand on America’s Funniest Home Videos. 

This one is ridiculously difficult.

 

Anyway, I think part of the reason why I go back are all the funny people in there. Every time I go, somebody is doing something weird. This workout room could probably be turned into a 30 minute sitcom. 

One night I went and some guy was rolling around on the floor, huffing and puffing, with a weight belt attached to his back. Then he couldn’t even stand up to take the belt off. 

A reoccurring fave of mine is the old retired couple that come in twice a week. The lady goes straight to the treadmill to walk for her 30 minutes, while the man saunters around and scopes out the scene. He usually watches his wife for a few minutes, then chats it up with the old guy (Larry) who monitors the gym. The he sits down on one of the machines to watch the news on the gym television. If anybody sees him just sitting there he pretends to be using the machine he’s sitting on. Does he really think we all think he’s actually working out? He’s too funny. 

Then there is this lady, and she’s one of those. All she ever does is talk about herself and most of the time she just starts talking to no one in particular, but loud enough for the whole gym to hear her. She is older, probably late 50s, but she is mega skinny and she works out for a long time when she comes. She loves to talk about how much she works out and how careful she is to watch what she eats, because she has her mother’s genes where she will gain weight by just looking at food. However, I don’t think she’s married. 

My favorite person there though is def. Larry. He monitors the gym and he’s really nice. I got the worst Charley-Horse in my leg last week, like I thought I was never going to walk again and I started freaking out, but he was nice about it and helped me shake most of it off. 

My mom wanted to know why I didn’t join a normal gym, where I could meet normal people (“like guys”- she emphasized,) but I told that line of thinking would not be half as beneficial to my comedy career as the community center is and also normal gyms don’t have a Larry. 

She cites this gym choice this is one of the many reasons why I don’t have a boyfriend.

Re-inspired

July 5, 2010

I spent last week at Second City in Chicago. I spent last week only concerned with the art of improv and learning how to write a good sketch. I spent last week riding the L and waltzing about the city as if I lived there. I spent last week realizing….

THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY.

Just being stressed out from everyday things like A minuses and too many jobs I kind of lost my id, mojo, inspiration, whatever you want to call it for what seems like some years (hence the lack of posts). But its back cause I remember now why I am putting up with this never-ending period of mega craze. I’m just waiting to go back. This period of my life is only temporary.

Back to the Mecca of improv. Back to an atmosphere where everyone is supportive of absurd creativity and “stupid” ideas. Back to a world where your job is literally to pretend. That’s where I need to go.

My improv class with Craig, our teacher

My awesome friend Dominick, back row second from right, is my new hero. He went to school, became a lawyer, did some law in L.A., packed up, moved out, sold his car and went to Chicago to do Second City. To be this. How ballsy is that?

I can do that too. I will do that too (sans the law part.)

 So thank you Second City. Thank you to all of my amaze new friends who are looking to get where I am going. This was probably the coolest experience of my life so far. And don’t fret, I’ll be back.