Archive for August 2010


August 24, 2010

Simply because I never bothered to do so before, here is the link to my online portfolio.

This would definitely be posted on my fridge. I worked on this over the summer for my internship/portfolio class. It was harshly criticized the first time, but this version got me an A. I figure simply the sheer amount of stuff included should at least get me a job interview when I send it to possible employers.


We don’t have that kind of time Suze!

August 10, 2010

King A has a GPS which is fortunate because neither of us are very good at directions. His GPS is named Susan, for no particular reason, but of course since we both speak queer and shorten pretty much every word ever, she has more appropriately become Suze.

We take Suze with us whenever we go on our crazy adventures and she always provides us with the best entertainment. We seriously have a billion Suze jokes because she likes to mess with us, but my favorite is the following.

The two of us were going to the Gaga concert downtown and we knew the general area of where the Toyota Center was, but not the specifics. We had successfully made it to downtown and we knew we where close, but Suze spoke too late and we missed a turn, so of course Suze goes “Recalculating Turn right in 300…” as soon as we heard the 300, we thought miles (but Suze really meant feet) and freaked proclaiming “We don’t have that kind of time Suze! We don’t have those kind of resources Suze!”

This is Suze.

This most accurately describes my current state of mind because I am terribly lost. I know it sounds cliché and retarded, but I really am. I am torn between two worlds, the people like King A  and the other artists I work with/for who are so focused on trying to become who they are as individuals and really finding themselves, so they encourage freedom of expression and trying new things, etc. Then I go home to my very realist family who immediately ask me what I’m going to do with my life and how I expect to pay the bills.

To make matters worse I am already going to be finished with college, the time when you’re supposed to figure how who you are and what the hell you want to do. While I don’t regret getting done early, my friends are yelling at me to listen to my heart  my internal Suze is telling me I don’t have that kind of time anymore (my parents are too.)

I understand that you must have money to exist and other important things like insurance and transportation, etc, etc. I come from a middle class family and I have $0 and I see how hard my parents work to get money and I know that they just want me to have stability and insurance and be able to live comfortably.

I am not naive or some stupid kid with my head in the clouds, I completely understand how society works, which is why I have like 4 jobs and have been trying to get out of school ASAP, but it sucks. I hate working 9-5 (I would rather start at like 7 am and get out early) and the thought of spending the rest of my life at a desk job is enough to make me cry myself to sleep at night, but I know its safe and probably the smart thing to do, especially with the current economic state, so that’s where I think I’m headed.

But then I go take classes at Second City or read the new Vanity Fair article on Gaga (she’s on the cover, it came out today, get your copy!) and I become so inspired and I just want to be that and have that freedom. I want to do what I want to do regardless. Of course, right under my Vanity Fair is the 1,000 page internship book I am supposed to be using to find internships at corporate companies  with good benefits that might want to hire me.

I so very much want to find the balance between those two worlds and be able to do something I love, but everything I love I suck at and everything I’m good at I hate.   My mom accuses me of trying to live in a fantasy world, but isn’t that what we all want to do anyway?

So Suze, come on and recalculate because I am really quite lost, but keep in mind I don’t have that kind of time.

If I found a genie lamp (or black lady for a day)

August 4, 2010

You know how genies live in magic lamps and when you find the lamp you get 3 wishes? Are you familiar with that process? If not you should probably go watch Aladdin or I Dream a Genie or something and just pray you haven’t stumbled upon your genie lamp yet

Well I was thinking about what I wish for, just to be prepared in case I ever find one, and I thought up the coolest wish.

If  (when) I find a magic genie lamp I am going to wish that everyone in the world (who would like to) can spend one day of their lives as a black lady.

Seriously,  you would get to spend a day as a black lady.

I do not mean this as a racist or cruel wish and I really don’t mean to stereotype or offend anyone, but I know that I personally wish at least twice a week that I was a black lady. It’s a compliment.

One of the spunkiest black ladies

I mean think of women like Queen Latifah, Wanda Sykes, Mercedes from Glee; the spunky black ladies. These girls are able to snap a z in your face and say things like “Girl, Please!” without sounding stupid or trashy.

Many can sing like Aretha Franklin, tell everyone how they really feel, and be extremely loud without consequences. Not to mention they are naturally funny and you know everyone accepts the fact that they just play the role of spunky black lady. Also, these ladies are pretty safe, even in dangerous situations, because who is going to try to rape someone who yells loud enough to be heard across the alley in normal conversation.

Also clothes made of spandex or embellished with crazy print designs are considered everyday attire for our spunky friends. I would love to pull off leopard print and wear four-inch purple heels.

People always make such stupid wishes when they discover the magic lamp, but I really think being a back lady for a day is a win-win situation. It would be a great opportunity to literally walk in someone else’s shoes and its only for a day, so if you really hate it what’s the big deal? Then you could at least stop wishing you were a black lady.

And don’t even get me started on how much you’d appreciate who you actually are after spending a day as someone you are not.

There’s no way to lose, so let’s all be black ladies!

Gaga part deux

August 2, 2010

Our picture can also be found on the Houston Press Web site. I still cannot believe I was there and she was here and how fantastic it was and how fierce we looked.  Memories…


August 2, 2010

My friend King A got a hair cut (see post below for photos). He had this mega, big sexy hair, white boy afro and now he has cut it to almost a Donald Trump onion loaf, but gayer and better looking.

It seems like everywhere we go now, everyone is saying how great his hair looks and how different it is, etc. I’m pretty sure people we don’t even know are coming up to him and telling him how much they like his new hair.

This constant attention is especially bad since its been summer, so its been a while since anyone has seen anyone else, so coming back with a drastic change is an even bigger deal now than in normal times.

And it made me think how I have always wanted to have one of those drastic summer changes, like in the books and movies, where the ugly high school girl comes bach after summer and looks amazing or how like Jared from Subway goes back to his office one day and has just magically lost 2,000 pounds. I need drastic.

I mean I feel like I’ve changed this summer, but it’s not outward appearance changes that people would notice or comment on. I seem, at least on the outside anyway, exactly the same as I have been for the past several years. I need drastic.

I go through phases like this all the time, where I just get so anxious and upset that nothing is different, but eventually they pass and I resume my usual life style and just tell myself the drastic is coming. But something drastic has yet to happen.

I think this phase has been affected by Lady Gaga. I want to do something as exicting as she does and wear crazy clothes and go around flaunting my BA self, but at the moment that’s not all that possible. I mean I don’t think the Chamber would appreciate me showing up in a pair of homemade hot pants and rainbow heels and tape X’s over my boobs.

So here I am, dying for drastic and only getting compliments about King A’s hair.

Better than sex

August 1, 2010

****Warning this post contains profanity

Me and King A dressed for the Monsterball

 “Should anyone ask you how the concert was, you tell them we burned Houston down to the fucking ground.” – Lady Gaga  

Exactly one week ago at this time, I was being liberated at the Monsterball. Words cannot begin to describe how absolutely amazing Lady Gaga is and how life changing the Monsterball was. My mom says I’m over exaggerating, but you really have no idea. I have seriously been reeling over this experience for the entire week and have been reliving it every time I close my eyes.King A and I got to the Toyota Center at 7 a.m. since we had general admission floor tickets. In the morning we looked like two kids just going to church. We waited all day. It was hot, the bathroom was miles away in a parking garage and I felt like a hooker walking there in my heels, I got sun burn in the pattern of my lace tights and we tried not to drink too much so as not to have to pee. The people around us were pretty craze, and not exactly in a good way, but it was just phenomenal.  The spanish newspaper  even took a picture of us. King A and I spent the day playing millions of round of speed (yet he always won), making up our own card games, and people watching, all while trying not to get too hot and getting annoyed with the battle of the radio stations trying to each play their music louder.

Us with our fellow Little Monsters. Aaron told the lady a fake name for me - "Roxanne"

But, the wait was so worth it because we had the best spots. We were like 8 rows away from the main stage and literally zero rows away from the middle stage catwalk thing. When Lady Gaga went down the cat walk, if she would have leaned over, we could have touched her. Lady Starlight gave a pre-show and Semi Precious Weapons opened for Gaga and both acts were pretty much just as good as Gaga. Lady Starlight was boppin around to hardcore real rock music and Justin of SPW was crazy, kicking his legs up mega high, getting naked on stage,spewing champagne  and wearing custom heels.

This is the veil I designed and King A actually helped me put together.

While I would need like 5,000 words to even begin to fully say how I feel about it all, especially since we are coming up to the Gaga part, I will spare you the hours of reading and just tell you my favorite part.While Gaga sang 18 songs, and had the best clothes, most elaborate sets and very sexy backup dancers. I cried when she told us she created the Mosterball as a place for her fans to be free. She told to drop all of our insecurities and just be free bitches because

“Tonight all the freaks are outside. And I’ve locked the fucking doors.”   

To hear 20, 000 people just screaming their hearts out and Lady Gaga just telling us it was ok to be whoever the fuck we are and want to be was the most liberating experience so far. I’ pretty sure this is how old ladies feel about Jesus (who was also at the Monsterball as Lady Gaga’s guitarist.)Afterwards we were parched, famished, achy all over, covered in sunburn and blisters and pretty much went into survival mode on the drive home, but we were so liberated. I still feel that liberated. As mom said, everyone can go to hell in a hay basket now because I can be whoever I want and I really and truly don’t care anymore what anyone wants to think. I’m a free bitch.I am so glad we already have tickets for when she comes back in April because King A and I have decided that we would give up sex for the rest of our lives to see Lady Gaga concerts all the time instead.

Cause Gaga is better than sex.