Archive for October 2010

Literal Sinkhole

October 24, 2010

I have a lot of funny stories that need to be written, but I have been quite busy living and everything has been sucking me in, so I’ve been living in a literal sinkhole (a term dubbed by King A).

So I will just give you a few quick previews, like they do on the news, where they ask a  provoking, attention-grabbing question like “Is Houston being over run by drug lords?” and you go, “Oh my god! Is it? Am I safe?,” but the camera just cuts to a close up of a news anchor saying, “Find out tonight at 5 p.m.” And then you never know because you forget or are busy by the time 5 p.m. roll around. So the next day you go to work and make up stories about how you think Houston is being taken over by drug lords.

So on second thought I won’t ask you anything, I’ll just tell you some things and go into mega detail later.

  • I auditioned for Disney World last Sunday. That is a very good story. I still have to wait like 3 weeks to find out if I made it or not. But I have hope! The audition itself went very well.
  • I am going to be Wonder Woman for Halloween. This is also a good story because my costume is kick-ass.
  • I never told the tale of the Toastmasters competition that I competed in. I got third place for Table Topics, which wasn’t bad, but I didn’t get a damn trophy. And there were some great characters there.
  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout-out to my  amazing mother. Her birthday was yesterday and I spent the entire day with her. I won’t get all sappy, because that’s not my style, but I love her very much and I am very lucky to have such a great mom because she is always saving my sorry ass.
  • Only 50 days until the official close of the fall semester! And then I will be done with college. Words cannot describe how excited I am. I have even thought up the best Facebook status already. Not kidding.

And to top everything off, here is the best YouTube video I’ve seen in a while. Thanks to King A for sharing. This will probably be the next big viral vid craze. Very quotable.

Tears of Laughter

October 14, 2010

Last weekend I spent the night at King A’s house and as we were participating in our usual bed time antics (that sounds so scandalous, doesn’t it?) I remembered a very funny moment from our Gaga weekend.

If this were a movie, this is where the dream sequence would begin.

The night before the Gaga concert we stayed up really really late for a number of reasons. By the time we started to go to sleep, it was like 2 a.m. and we were going to get up at 5 a.m. to get ready. Aaron went to turn on the standing fan we use when we sleep in the guest room. He turned it on high and then got in bed.

We both started trying to fall asleep, but the fan was blowing so high that the blanket was blowing up and down, our hair was blowing like model hair and it was this intense wind. For some reason, Aaron said, “It feels like snakes in a blanket!” referencing that god-awful Samuel L. Jackson movie, Snakes on a Plane. I took it one step further and adapted Jackson’s famous line, yelling “I’m sick of these mother f-ing snakes in my mother f-ing blankie!” Which was was like the funniest thing I ever heard.

Dream sequence over.

Anyway, last weekend when Aaron went to turn on the fan, and he accidentally started to turn it on to high power I remembered the aforementioned scenario and just started dying of laughter. I laughed for like 2 minutes straight; the crazy, ab work-out-the-more-you-try-to-stop-the-harder-you-laugh kind of laugh. Aaron asked me if I was going to die. There were tears coming out of my eyes, and in reality nothing was even that funny.

I think it was a combination of sleep deprivation, stress, overload and just a form of extreme emotional catharsis. It was pretty fun, weird, but fun.

So my little bit of wisdom for this week is to encourage all of you to find a way to shed some tears of laughter. I have had a better week this week, (well better than I’ve had the past few weeks) and i think it is in part because of those laughter tears. You won’t regret it.

I'm sick of these mother f-ing snakes in my mother f-ing blankie!

Jerked into land of imagination (mixed SIGNALS #3)

October 7, 2010

So this is probably the best episode of mixed SIGNALS yet. The script was genius, it was much more rehearsed and I think its worthy of some kind of excellent news award.

However, there is one small fluke. In the Bed Bug report, Jenny (the co-anchor) is trying to make you squirm and in telling the story she says “drift off into imagination land.” We have found, depending on your state of mind and your attention level, though, it can sound like “jerk off into imagination land,” which can change the whole context of the segment. Its funny either way, except one way is funnier than the other. So what do you hear?

Enjoy!

 

The coolest cake you’ll ever see

October 5, 2010

 

This is just one last HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING A!

I had to make an image completely out of text for my graphic design class. King A and I had tried to make an amazing four layer, homemade purple icing cake for his birthday , but it ended up only three layers (because one layer was under cooked and fell apart – other wise it would have been the pudding layer) and more gray than purple (despite what we may have tried to tell you).

 Nonetheless it was a super fun experience, it just resulted in a less than appealing cake. To make up for our fun yet failed attempts, I decided to dedicate my graphic design project to the cake that wasn’t. This image truly represents our cake state of mind.

Letters to Me (from me)

October 4, 2010

Dear Dana,

You need to calm down. You need to stop throwing pity parties. You need to suck it up and keep going.

Stop living in your imaginary, fantasy scenarios and do something with yourself. Stop waiting until the last-minute for every thing. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life coming up with stuff on the spot? If this stuff that you make up on command is pretty ok, then just think about what you could achieve if you actually tried?

On that same note, you need to stop being so wishy-washy. People are going to trample you if you keep it up. This is how Simba’s father died in the Lion King, he was trampled by a stampede. Do you want to die at the feet of elephants, giraffes and hyenas? I didn’t think so. Also, just fyi, not deciding anything does not constitute as a decision. Who are you even kidding with that one?

You need to let go. Things are going to change and you are not going to be able to control them so just let it be. But that doesn’t mean stop planning and just give up, it means let go of the things you cannot have and expand your options to include more than just that one thing that’s probs never gonna happen. And also, what do you want to do when you grow up? You’re a little late figuring this one out, lady buster, but its better late than never, so get on it.

Start getting up and dragging your fat ass to the gym again in the morning. Going two out of seven mornings is not going to cut it. Do you want to wear skinny jeans this season? And clean your room. And your car. The state of which you are living is just gross.

You made A’s your entire college career. Are you really going to give that up now? Now, with 74 days left until the official close of fall semester, you’re going to give up on school? That’s just dumb. Suck it up. If you wanted to give up, you should have decided to do that ages ago. But you don’t decide anything, do you? Now its too late, so suck it and do your damn homework. Also, can you please learn how to spell? And your handwriting looks like a first grader’s so maybe work on that too.

You want to know why things are not working? Because you are not even trying to make them work. Its time Dana. Hell, its past time Dana. And you know it.

Best of luck. Sincerely,

The better side of your brain

Happy Anniversary (the origin of duckduckDana)

October 3, 2010

So September marked the one year anniversary of this lovely little blog here. I feel pretty accomplished because I usually have awful follow-through on endeavors such as this, so to say its been a year shows some real progress on my part. And to mark the occasion, I even made a new header, everyone take note.

In honor of this 1 year anniversary, and before I forget, I am going to tell you the story of how the name duckduckDana came to be.

It started, where all great stories start, in a tap class almost 2 years ago. Tap class was on Thursday, the most tried day of the week, from 9-10 p.m., after an hour and a half of ballet class and even more hours before that of teaching. So to say that we were often tired in tap class would be an understatement. We were usually delirious.

Well this one night, our normal teacher was in a show or out-of-town or something, so my dear friend Devin was the teacher. There was also hardly anybody there because of homework, test, sleep etc. We did tap warm up and some across the floor, but nearing the end of class we were all just completely gone. So Devin told us we could play a game. We decided to play duck, duck, goose using tap steps to get around the circle.

We immediately turned into 4 year olds as we began to play and when it was King A’s turn he went around the circle saying, “duck, duck, duck” like six times. Finally, when he touched my head for the seventh time, he said”Day-na” in a very deep and funny voice instead of goose. We all thought that was the funniest joke we’d ever heard and felt the need to imitate his “duck, duck (key change) Day-na” a bazillion times. So it kind of stuck.

It’s certainly not the most amazing story that ever existed, but it always brings back glued ball (good) times and you have to admit that duckduckDana is pretty darn catchy.

So Happy Anniversary followers!

May we have many more together!

Photo by Caitlin Cannon