I See You Baby – Shakin’ That Ass


So, Aaron Kate and myself spontaneously decided to go to a club last night. This was quite the decision, considering the fact that none of us had ever actually been to a club before.

After the Gaga concert in April, Aaron and I met his bf at a rave, but raves are not really clubs. Although (pulling a Stephon here) the rave had everything: light shows by guys with glow stick gloves, girls wearing boots with the fur and baby skirts, the guy with a spiderman mask and a gas mask on, strobe lights, pool tables and an underground level. I swear I laughed the entire 45 minutes we were at the rave and worried about how many drugs I unintentionally inhaled the rest of the night.

Anyway, last night we decided to go to Southbeach, a gay club, and the only thing it had in common with the rave was the hilarity factor. Thank God. But, it still wasn’t the best night of my life.

First of all, no offense, but it was kind of full of losers. Like older queerbos were literally dancing by themselves and there was hardly a crowd (and it was a Friday night). Then the music was mega techno, which would have been fine, except they played the same song for what seemed like hours on end. We were there for over an hour and we only knew a handful of songs; they didn’t  play any Gaga or even any  like Brittany Spears or Madonna or Cher. It’s a gay club for christ’s sake, what were they thinking? The DJ was sitting behind a glass booth and I was really tempted to knock on his window and tell him to switch it up a bit. There was also this male stripper, who was basically just a body builder guy in his undies doing hip rolls, not even touching the pole. Yet, he probs made more money in the time we were there than I make in a week cause guys were sticking all kinds of dollar dollar bill yos in his undies. Also some strange characters ( again its a gay club – leave us alone) were trying to dance all up on me and Kate, so we had a great time making  freaked out faces and literally hopping away to avoid their grinding male parts.

The funniest thing of my life, however, was that I ran into a guy that I work with at TUTS. It was super-mega-akward because it was when we first got there and were trying to scope out the scene (cause we had never been to a club), so I was on like sensory overload and here the buster comes strolling up with his bf. Then he felt the need to introduce everyone to everyone, which I so didn’t understand because (a) the techno was blaring so loud you couldn’t hear shit – according to Kate and Aaron I even heard his bf’s name wrong and (b) we were so not going to hang out with him, I mean that’s just weird.

I just thought it was completely ironic that of all the gays Aaron knows, I ran into somebody. Lord knows that would happen to me.

One song they certainly didn’t play, which is now one of my top faves is the YouTube sensation I See You Baby (Shakin’ That Ass). So here it is for your listening pleasure.

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