Archive for the ‘It happens’ category

It’s been a long a time, but I’m back in town

June 30, 2011

So after returning from my stay at the kingdom, my life was in shambles. Not complete shambles, as I wasn’t a staving child or homeless or pregnant, but very large chunks of not-so-good.

Everyday I was picking a different profession to be or a different grad school major to study and I literally came this close to joining the air force. Yep, I started training for the physical fitness test by running (that was just entirely bizarre) and contacted a recruiter via online chat (also weird, but not as much as the running).

I did a little soul searching, which is why I haven’t written, because for the past month I have been nothing but irritable and whiney. Because of this my mom has also become my best friend, but thats besides today’s point.

As corny as that sounds, I really did have to come up with a new life plan. I had hoped to stay in the kingdom, but did not get either of the two jobs I interviewed for and being the person that I am, I live off my back-up plans so I didn’t have any back-back-up plans.

So after much deliberation and weighing of various options, I have decided to go to law school. My reasons are solid; it seems like the best and most profitable idea I’ve had yet, so why not? Of course, because I can never make up my mind, I am not going to be going to law school until next fall because of applications and the LSAT and all that jazz, which means I will be here in Houston for the next year.

Furthermore, I will also be returning to RAFA as the receptionist and gluestick to try and save some dollars for this very expensive endeavor I am undertaking.

I also am planning several other things to do this year, but details have been not confirmed so far.

So I just thought I’d make my decision official, because as we all know, nothing makes facts more true than when you find them online. Especially when found on Facebook. That information is always a 100% guarantee.

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Living the Magic

January 31, 2011

The latest installment in my Disney World endeavors.

Also I forgot to mention that my birthday is coming up on Sunday. I’m going to be 20 years old. Dear God.

Dana takes on Disney (The Magic Begins)

January 13, 2011

One of my favorite 30 Rock lines is when Jack realizes Tracy Morgan is right about something or another and Tracy says “I hate to say I told you so. So, Welcome to Miami!” That’s just what I felt like on the plane when the stewardess said “Welcome to Orlando!”

Happy Anniversary (the origin of duckduckDana)

October 3, 2010

So September marked the one year anniversary of this lovely little blog here. I feel pretty accomplished because I usually have awful follow-through on endeavors such as this, so to say its been a year shows some real progress on my part. And to mark the occasion, I even made a new header, everyone take note.

In honor of this 1 year anniversary, and before I forget, I am going to tell you the story of how the name duckduckDana came to be.

It started, where all great stories start, in a tap class almost 2 years ago. Tap class was on Thursday, the most tried day of the week, from 9-10 p.m., after an hour and a half of ballet class and even more hours before that of teaching. So to say that we were often tired in tap class would be an understatement. We were usually delirious.

Well this one night, our normal teacher was in a show or out-of-town or something, so my dear friend Devin was the teacher. There was also hardly anybody there because of homework, test, sleep etc. We did tap warm up and some across the floor, but nearing the end of class we were all just completely gone. So Devin told us we could play a game. We decided to play duck, duck, goose using tap steps to get around the circle.

We immediately turned into 4 year olds as we began to play and when it was King A’s turn he went around the circle saying, “duck, duck, duck” like six times. Finally, when he touched my head for the seventh time, he said”Day-na” in a very deep and funny voice instead of goose. We all thought that was the funniest joke we’d ever heard and felt the need to imitate his “duck, duck (key change) Day-na” a bazillion times. So it kind of stuck.

It’s certainly not the most amazing story that ever existed, but it always brings back glued ball (good) times and you have to admit that duckduckDana is pretty darn catchy.

So Happy Anniversary followers!

May we have many more together!

Photo by Caitlin Cannon

The day Dana and Aaron bought a stripper pole

September 12, 2010

I have a stripper pole in  the middle of my room. I bought it yesterday. Even after my mom told me no.

I did not wake up and say “I’m going to buy a pole today,” because I actually woke up at the crack of dawn and took the GMAT (to get into grad school.) So I think my reasoning was flawed the rest of the day since I used too many brain cells on the test.

Nonetheless, I have a stripper pole.

I have been going through this phase of really wanting to be a total bad ass; I have even decided I want to be a bartender when I’m old enough. So yesterday, Aaron and I were on our usual adventures, planning and getting supplies for his 18th birthday party, and we ended up at the mall. Then we ended up in Spencers. Then I ended up wanting to buy a stripper pole. In that order.

I decided I wanted one, so I called my mom to ask her what she thought. She said no. I told that she could use it too and it would be a great way to keep up out  new fitness obsession and spice up her marriage. She said no. I told her that I really, really wanted it and wouldn’t buy anything expensive for a while. She said no.

So I bought it.

I have this exact pole.

We took the pole to my house, where I got some glares from my mom, though my dad just seemed extremely amused.

My mom was like “You wanted to work at Disney! What do you need a stripper pole for?”

I told her that sometimes Minnie likes to get down and dirty.

She said she was not taking me to the hospital when I fell off and broke something  or caused the ceiling to cave in and then locked herself in her room to pray the rosary.

My dad set up the pole in the my room, which was exactly more complicated than what the outside of the box said, but my dad can pretty much figure out anything, so we were good.

Then Aaron and I took turns putting on shows and almost taking the pole down with us. We don’t have enough room to do like lateral spins, but otherwise we are fine. Although “to the window, to wall” has a whole new meaning when you are trying to catch a falling stripper pole.

I am leaving the pole up so that Aaron and I can practice. Diamond Club South, our local strip club, is hiring, so we need to get good fast. I want to be able to do this:

This is going to make an excellent chapter in our book.

Fag Hag

September 6, 2010

I used to think the term was derogatory and mean and got mad if anyone called me that, but  I have changed my mind.

My name is Dana and I am a fag hag.

The other day I had a drink (and by drink I mean coffee) with King A (gay), Corey (gay), and his friend Hawk (also gay, do you see a pattern yet?). It was the funniest experience because it was me, sitting at Starbucks, surrounded by these queer (in all sense of the word)friends of mine, getting some glares from other Starbucks patrons for being a bit too loud and extremely openly judgemental, and I realized that most other girls my age probably don’t have moments like this very often. But as Hawk said, there is no better reflection of yourself than three gays creating a mirror around you, which is so true you honestly have to be in that situation to realize it.

The great thing about gays, and why I chose them over anyone else, is that they don’t want anything from you; they don’t expect anything. As a heterosexual female, when I am friends with a straight guy there is always that awkward line between what makes me his  “girl friend” and what makes me his “girlfriend.” There is also the danger of either party crossing that fine, fine line between a lover and a friend at any time.

With other girl friends there is always an underlying sense of some kind of competition and the need for a lot of false caring. You have to worry about your friend looking better than you and then care about all her stupid problems and then let her borrow any clothes you own and such. Also girls are just mega bitchy (yes, I know gays can be too, but it usually passes quickly.) Girls hold grudges for ages and I just can’t handle all the baggage that comes with having  female friends. They require serious amounts of effort.

These feelings about straight guys and normal girls leave me to choose to either become a hermit or a fag hag, and I don’t like complete isolation, so really there is no choice.

One other reason I have started to endorse the term fag hag is because I read this terrific book, Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, which is a compilation of essays and memoirs about girl-gay relationships. These stories were awesome and I could pretty much relate to all of them, especial one entitled “Donny and Marie Don’t Get Married,” which are King A’s and I alter egos. All of the stories in the book talked about how important these friendships were and not a single party involved ever regretted the friendship.

Being a fag hag is  not a bad thing, but rather a term of endearment and even love. The friendships I have/had with my gay friends  are definitely the best relationships I’ve ever had. I told King A that our friendship is seriously the friendship to ruin all relationships. I am even able to cite examples of this, such as one particular epiphany-filled moment during my brief, brief, demented relationship with an actual “boyfriend.” This beau told me that the way I talked about Aaron all the time made it sound like I would rather spend time with Aaron than him. Realizing just how true that statement was, I broke up with the boy almost immediately after.

Because of this King A and I have already pinky-promised (and we don’t f*&% around with pinky promises) to write our own book about just how monumental our friendship is, so look for our book in stores  around fall 2030.

Better than sex

August 1, 2010

****Warning this post contains profanity

Me and King A dressed for the Monsterball

 “Should anyone ask you how the concert was, you tell them we burned Houston down to the fucking ground.” – Lady Gaga  

Exactly one week ago at this time, I was being liberated at the Monsterball. Words cannot begin to describe how absolutely amazing Lady Gaga is and how life changing the Monsterball was. My mom says I’m over exaggerating, but you really have no idea. I have seriously been reeling over this experience for the entire week and have been reliving it every time I close my eyes.King A and I got to the Toyota Center at 7 a.m. since we had general admission floor tickets. In the morning we looked like two kids just going to church. We waited all day. It was hot, the bathroom was miles away in a parking garage and I felt like a hooker walking there in my heels, I got sun burn in the pattern of my lace tights and we tried not to drink too much so as not to have to pee. The people around us were pretty craze, and not exactly in a good way, but it was just phenomenal.  The spanish newspaper  even took a picture of us. King A and I spent the day playing millions of round of speed (yet he always won), making up our own card games, and people watching, all while trying not to get too hot and getting annoyed with the battle of the radio stations trying to each play their music louder.

Us with our fellow Little Monsters. Aaron told the lady a fake name for me - "Roxanne"

But, the wait was so worth it because we had the best spots. We were like 8 rows away from the main stage and literally zero rows away from the middle stage catwalk thing. When Lady Gaga went down the cat walk, if she would have leaned over, we could have touched her. Lady Starlight gave a pre-show and Semi Precious Weapons opened for Gaga and both acts were pretty much just as good as Gaga. Lady Starlight was boppin around to hardcore real rock music and Justin of SPW was crazy, kicking his legs up mega high, getting naked on stage,spewing champagne  and wearing custom heels.

This is the veil I designed and King A actually helped me put together.

While I would need like 5,000 words to even begin to fully say how I feel about it all, especially since we are coming up to the Gaga part, I will spare you the hours of reading and just tell you my favorite part.While Gaga sang 18 songs, and had the best clothes, most elaborate sets and very sexy backup dancers. I cried when she told us she created the Mosterball as a place for her fans to be free. She told to drop all of our insecurities and just be free bitches because

“Tonight all the freaks are outside. And I’ve locked the fucking doors.”   

To hear 20, 000 people just screaming their hearts out and Lady Gaga just telling us it was ok to be whoever the fuck we are and want to be was the most liberating experience so far. I’ pretty sure this is how old ladies feel about Jesus (who was also at the Monsterball as Lady Gaga’s guitarist.)Afterwards we were parched, famished, achy all over, covered in sunburn and blisters and pretty much went into survival mode on the drive home, but we were so liberated. I still feel that liberated. As mom said, everyone can go to hell in a hay basket now because I can be whoever I want and I really and truly don’t care anymore what anyone wants to think. I’m a free bitch.I am so glad we already have tickets for when she comes back in April because King A and I have decided that we would give up sex for the rest of our lives to see Lady Gaga concerts all the time instead.

Cause Gaga is better than sex.